lyrium_dreams | meeting again (for aceso)

[ It's quite the trek down there, and Christine stops back at her tent to grab a shawl first before continuing on. At the halfway point between stronghold and river, she asks herself just what she's doing. Surely this is too far to go to make sure the Commander remembers to eat. Why is she assigning this responsibility to herself?

She knows why, but she squashes the thought immediately in order to pay attention to the path ahead so she doesn't slip. It's well trodden by soldiers and carts, but at some point she has to step off towards the trebuchets and there the path is less defined and more icy. And in fact, as she gets close enough to make out the Commander's form, her foot hits a particularly slick patch and both feet go flying out from under her as she falls back. There's only time for a quick "Oh!" of alarm before her back and rear impact the ice and the breath is knocked out of her. ]

[ Cullen looks up right as she goes sprawling. He doesn't have time to contemplate what she's doing all the way down here. He drops his clipboard and is at her side in seconds, staring down at her with eyes wide with alarm. ]

Maker, are you all right?

[ Cold ice meets her back as white stars explode before her eyes as she lies there unmoving for a moment. But then she becomes aware that she's fallen and with a huff of annoyance she attempts to get up, only to find him there staring down at her. ]

Fine.

[ She thinks her pride might be as bruised as her rear end. How many people saw that? Without thinking of warning him, her eyes start to glow bright blue and blue light swirls around her hand as she places it on her lower back and slides it down, mending the bruising she feels on her tailbone. After a moment the bright light fades from her eyes and she tries to pull herself to her feet. ]

I'd prefer to forget it even happened.

[ The use of magic startles him, but he resists the urge to step back. Instead, he turns around and sees a few soldiers nearby, staring. They seem concerned, not amused, but Cullen doesn't much care. ]

What are you gawking at? Obviously someone didn't clear the path properly after the last snowfall. I want you, you, and you to go right now and redo the entire walk. If I see any hint of ice left by the time I inspect it tomorrow, there's going to be hell to pay.

[ The soldiers give a chorus of frightened yes, sir and hurry off. Cullen turns back to Christine and offers her a hand up. ]

I'm terribly sorry about this. What a way to meet again. What are you doing all the way down here?

[ She takes his hand and gets to her feet, realizing that she simply can't tell the whole truth. It's completely unreasonable for her to have come out all this way to remind the Commander to eat dinner. It would make her sound like the worst kind of nag. Adjusting her shawl across her shoulders once more, she rushes to think. ]

The trebuchets.

[ Honestly, this sounds worse. ]

What I mean is, I was looking for you and I heard you were at the trebuchets, and I thought it would do me good to get some fresh air. And see them. The trebuchets, that is. Because they're so very important, should we come under siege again. And the walk was refreshing.

[ He watches her, slightly bewildered and growing more so as she goes on about the trebuchets. Part of him would like to agree and begin discussing the engineering genius of the weapons of war before them, but the rest of him suspects she's putting him on. He glances around them and notices daylight is beginning to fade. ]

... It's dinner time, isn't it?

Ah, so it is. Yes, I was coming to tell you, and heard you were out here, and I certainly wasn't going to come all the way out here for just that, I assure you. [ She is not panicking at all. ] But I thought that while I was here to see the trebuchets and take in the mountain air that I would remind you.

[ He is trying hard not to laugh at this point. ]

Well, if you really want to hear about them, I could tell you. [ He could certainly demonstrate a specific brand of military tactical nerdery. ] Buuuut I think perhaps breaking for dinner instead is not a terrible idea?

[ Very rude, Commander. ]

Perhaps it should be saved for another day.

[ Christine is putting on a brave face, but inside she's absolutely mortified at having fallen in her pursuit of the Commander. It really is pathetic of her, and she vows to act in a manner more becoming a healer of the Inquisition. No fancies. ]

Shall we?

Yes, perhaps. A day I won't bore you to tears.

[ He's aware his interests are sometimes, uh, niche. ]

Sorry, give me a moment. [ He retrieves his clipboard from where he dropped it in his haste to make sure she was all right, shakes the snow off, and makes one final note. ] The good news is they're all in excellent shape.

[ They are not going to be taken by surprise again. He stashes the clipboard in a nearby tent and returns to her, clearing his throat. ]

Just watch your step on the way back up. [ Should he offer her his arm? Or would that seem inappropriate or patronizing? No, better to wait and see what she does first. ]

I will.

[ Christine will make absolutely sure of that. Despite not many seeing her, she feels that somehow everyone knows and they're secretly laughing at her. Perhaps that's Orlesian paranoia, where one thinks everyone is trying to discredit you so they can get ahead.

On the way back up, she's incredible careful with her steps, holding one arm out for balance while her other hand holds her shawl closed at her chest. ]

How have you been feeling?

[ Maybe if they focus on him some of her embarrassment will fade. ]

[ He finds himself hovering close behind, ready to grab her if she slips again. ]

Well, thank you. I had a slight headache the other day, but it's all been... manageable.

[ The good days can be deceptive, he knows. The way they compound, luring him into a false sense of security. Better to stay vigilant. ]

And yourself? Other than your near demise just now, of course.

[ He's certain no one is laughing. His soldiers know if they do, they'll be sorry. ]

[ She shoots him a look. ]

There's no need to be so dramatic for the sake of humor.

[ Translation: stop poking fun. ]

I've been quite well, considering the windy nights lately. [ Not the best for someone who lives in a tent. ] I would hope they're just a fluke and not a sign that the weather will stay that way for awhile.

[ Look at her: resorting to talking about the weather. Even she can see that it's pathetic. ]

You got by without a pain reliever?

Who's being dramatic? Unattended ice is treacherous. If I figure out who didn't clear the path properly the first time, they'll be scrubbing the armory floors for a month.

[ So he was only poking fun a little. But the mention of the windy nights jogs something in his brain. ]

Ah, that reminds me. You'll be pleased to hear I spoke with Gatsi, and he assures me the future infirmary building will have plenty of room upstairs for healers' quarters.

[ A pause. ]

For the most part, yes.

[ Perhaps the good news will postpone the scolding he's sure to get after that evasive answer. ]

[ Christine is of course thrilled to hear such news and she stops with a soft gasp, turning towards the Commander with unhidden joy in her eyes. ]

Truly? Oh, that would be wonderful!

[ A door. A door that closes and maybe locks. No drafts. Maybe she'll even have a real bed and not a cot. ]

Wait, what did you say? For the most part?

[ Sorry, Cullen. A healer's probing questions are never done. ]

[ He smiles, a warmth spreading through him to see her express that much delight. ]

Truly. I got his word. Construction should begin before the month is out.

[ ... but his grin falters when it's clear she's caught onto him. ]

Er, yes. Only a little, to help me sleep.

[ Because insomnia is an old friend he'd rather not let get too comfortable in his new life. ]

[ Right. Well, she should start moving again before they end up missing dinner completely. After all, that was the goal of this excursion, wasn't it? ]

And how do you feel about that? Using a pain remedy, I mean.

[ He continues walking up the path behind her, hesitating before responding. ]

Is that a trick question?

No?

[ She pauses and turns back, wind whipping her hair forward into her face for a moment before she pushes it back with annoyance. ]

But you are trying to break your addiction to lyrium. I wished to know your thoughts on using something to ease your pain, but that could also become addictive.

[ Christine wants his thoughts on it. If he's using it, than he can't be assuming he'll become addicted to it too, but if he starts depending on it too much, than he's back to where he started. ]

Sorry. Ah. [ He tries to suppress his own irritation. ] I suppose I was expecting a scolding.

[ A sigh. ]

I'm aware of the risks. But I also know what extended sleep deprivation does to a person, and I can't afford to go back to living like that. There's too much at stake.

Well, I could certainly dig one up for you if you'd prefer. I'm told I'm excellent at scoldings.

[ Not that she's really in the mood to go that direction right now. She would rather just eat dinner. ]

I understand. And I'm sure you've given it a great deal of thought.

[ A pause. ]

You would do much for the Inquisition, and thankfully there are those who won't allow you to do more than you should.

[ He stifles a relieved chuckle. ]

No, that's quite all right. I've heard it all before, I assure you.

[ He thinks, for a fleeting moment, of Meredith. Wonders how she would feel to see him now, if the madness hadn't gripped her near the end. Disappointed, he's certain. The thought makes him clench his teeth. ]

...I can't quite decide if you're still scolding me, just in a more roundabout way.

[ Orlesians have a tendency to speak in code, by his judgement. Although the last time he pointed it out, Leliana retorted that was a very Fereldan thing of him to say, and Josephine tried to educate him on the diplomatic virtues of stating things delicately. Best to move on and avoid sparking another cultural debate. ]

Do you have any suggestions for an alternative remedy? Insomnia has been a... chronic issue, long before the lyrium.

Is that what it sounds like?

[ Though it hadn't been her intent, perhaps Christine just naturally gravitates in that direction. It wouldn't be out of place for an Orlesian, that's for sure. ]

There are some teas that make one sleepy. And the smell of lavender is calming and promotes a restful sleep. Perhaps something like that?

I'm not sure. Perhaps I'm just hyper-vigilant when it comes to critiques of my behavior.

[ Another relic from Meredith, loath as he is to admit it. Even the lightest of comments held deeper manipulative meanings. Often they led back to lyrium, the indulgence in or withholding of supplies. He should have seen the signs sooner, but back then he was all too eager to please. ]

I hope I haven't offended. Talking about all this is still quite new to me. It can make one... prickly.

[ He smiles a little. ] Tea and lavender. I'll have to try that next time. Are such ingredients readily available here?

[ By now, they've finally enters the lower courtyard at Skyhold and she leads him towards the stairs. ]

It takes more than that to offend me. I am a healer: we endure much from people each day. Silly questions, backtalk, refusing to sit and be healed. There are many kinds of patients.

[ She hums quietly. ]

Yes, there's lavender in the garden, and chamomile tea is easy to procure. Lemon balm may help as well. Should I collect them for you?

I'm grateful for that. I'd hate to anger my dinner companion before the meal even began.

[ He glances around surreptitiously now that they've entered the courtyard. He doesn't want prying ears to overhear the Commander's medical concerns. Luckily, no one seems to be paying any mind. ]

If you would, I'd be in your debt.

A dangerous thing to say to an overworked healer. Why, I could make you owe me anything!

[ She throws him a teasing look over her shoulder before looking back towards the stone steps. She's already fallen once today, so she doesn't need a repeat by tripping up the stairs and skinning her shins. ]

The truth of it is, [ She says at the top, ] you owe me nothing. This is my job, and I am happy to do it.

[ He grins absently at her mischievousness a bit before he realizes he's doing it, at which point his smile turns self-conscious. ]

Well, I'm relieved. For a second I was worried I'd promised you my firstborn.

[ IT'S BEEN KNOWN TO HAPPEN JUST ASK ALISTAIR ]

[ Christine brow lifts and a smile touches her lips. ]

I think the future mother of your children would be very angry if she knew you went around offering such a thing, hm?

[ He chuckles, a little nervously. ]

Well, there's not exactly any takers at the moment, so it seems an easier thing to gamble with than it should.

[ Skdjnghj Maker's breath, did he actually just say that? oH LOOK here's the entrance to the Main Hall now. He walks in and blinks in surprise at the cacophony caused by the rabble. ]

... This is certainly a lot busier than I usually see it. [ Oh yikes, and there's Varric, whom running into always causes an awkward conversation as they avoid the topic of Kirkwall. Hopefully he won't look up from the parchment he's scribbling on until they've blended into the crowd. ] Where do you usually sit?

[ Christine assumes that there would be takers, were he not the Commander and seemingly untouchable because of the title. But that's not something she feels she can just outright tell him, so she lets it go. ]

This way. [ She leads them far in to the end of the table on the left, near the door to the Inquisitor's private quarters. ] I like being closer to the window for the last of the day's light.

[ It's more complicated than that, more to do with extensive emotional baggage... Not to mention the explicit order given to Josephine to turn down any and all marriage proposals, of which there have been an alarming amount. Needless to say none of those are being offered on account of his personality and charm. Not that he wants to speak of that either; it's all a bit too mortifying to contemplate.

He follows her to the table by the window, nodding in approval as he glances toward the stained glass windows. The Inquisitor's throne sits empty, as she's away from Skyhold for another field mission. ]

It's a lovely spot.

[ He waits for Christine to sit before taking a seat himself. He notices straightaway that a few people are staring. ]

I think I've stunned some onlookers with my presence. No doubt they assume I subsist only on air and dedication to the cause.

[ Christine takes a seat and starts serving herself some of the roasted and already sliced meat sitting out for the taking. His comment has her lifting her gaze to the hall as a whole, noticing several people staring or whispering behind their hands. It reminds her of the Circle all over again, where mages played the Grand Game and walked all over each other in the hopes they'd be let out to be some nobleman's pet mage and do party tricks. Yet before she can exhale a sigh he makes a joke and she lets out a titter of laughter before she can hold herself in check. The least her body could've done is not make her sound so pathetically girlish. ]

We would all get far more done in a day if that were the truth.

[ He's quite pleased to see he's made her laugh. ]

Don't I know it.

[ He sits back and tries to relax, although the roving eyes still find them from time to time. ]

Well, this is nice. I don't think I've given the hall a proper look since it got restored. It's quite a sight to see.

[ Skyhold is in general, marking the Inquisition as an institution that should not be trifled with. ]

I have no reason to walk through during the day, so I only see it at dinner time.

[ She takes a moment to look up at the ceiling that's been properly restored; no more broken beams. ]

It's the perfect place to receive guests and deal out judgments, isn't it? Very grand.

[ But greeting guests and dealing judgments luckily aren't in Christine's purview. She's happy to stick to the healers' area. And even moreso now that she knows they'll be getting their own building. ]

And now that this is complete, other building projects can begin. I'm thrilled about the healers' building, you know.

"Grand" is an apt word for it. I'm sure it'll make an impression when the next round of visitors arrive. To say nothing of the prisoners who need to be judged.

[ The latter is his jurisdiction more so than the former. He's been present once or twice already, when having the extra muscle of the Commander there made sense.

He smiles a little. ]

I'm glad to hear that. I've tried to make it a priority. Healers are an essential part of the Inquisition. I regret that you've been left to shiver outside in tents this long, but what happened at Haven was such a setback. For awhile everything we did to bring Skyhold up to par felt like we were dumping buckets of water out of a ship that was already half-sunk. At least now things have improved.

[ Before the next crisis happens, at least. But he leaves that part unsaid, for fear of sounding paranoid. ]

Very true.

[ She'd thought her time running with the other rebel mages across Orlais and into Ferelden had been bad enough, but after finally having the chance to breathe at Haven while doing some good, they all had that ripped away from them in one night. ]

I thought it was the end that night. Trapped in the Chantry with no escape. And even when we did, it was to wander through the snowy mountains with no clue where we were going. Seeing Skyhold appear from between the peaks felt like a gift from Andraste after we had sung together.

[ Christine doesn't even really consider herself that religious — a fact she keeps hidden close to the chest — but even she can admit that the amount of luck it took to have a person with them who just so happened to know of a safe place felt like divine intervention. ]

All the work it took to rebuild was like a test to prove we could work together no matter who we were.

You and me both. [ Perhaps that's not proper for the commander of their army to admit, but the situation was so dire it feels foolish to deny. ] It was a gross tactical failure to have been so woefully unprepared... though how could we have known what we were facing?

[ His words have a practiced quality to them, as though he's repeated them many times – often to himself, when the guilt feels overwhelming. ]

It did feel... like a miracle, really. I've never experienced anything so profound.

[ He clears his throat. ]

I only hope it's all worth it. We can't afford to be taken unawares again.

It's worth it. Of that I am sure.

[ There's confidence to her words. What they're doing is stepping up to save the world, and it doesn't matter whether they're human, elf, mage, Templar, or whatever else. For once, Thedas doesn't feel quite so divided anymore.

Taking a moment to point at him with her fork, she adds: ]

And intelligent people don't make the same mistakes twice. So we won't.

I appreciate that you have such confidence in me. In all of us.

[ More than he has in himself, sometimes. Not that he can afford to admit that. He looks down at his plate, realizing that after all this he's barely touched his meal. He picks up a fork and pokes at a potato. ]

I find it difficult to contemplate what should happen if we fail. [ The end of everything, it seems. ] Perhaps that's for the best.

[ And best to move off such a grim topic. ]

Tell me, then — what would you find most useful to have in the new space for the infirmary?

[ She watches him quietly for a moment, knowing that thoughts of the Inquisition's downfall have entered her mind from time to time. Not because she sees some inherent failing with this organization; quite the opposite. She believes in them and what they're trying to accomplish. But with an enemy so mysterious, it's hard to say what will happen next.

Glad to move on from the topic, she straightens a little and nods. ]

Plenty of shelves for potions, a workspace to mix them, a separate section for the healers only so no patients get into things they shouldn't.

[ Christine could probably list a hundred things. ]

And of course, a place for the healers to sleep.

meeting again (for aceso)

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ughh sorry for the delay, i've been struggling to find time for rp lately

no worries!

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